56 Observations and Free Advice About Life for No Good Reason
- When I was a kid, a Flintstones chewable was cool and tasty. As I get older, a standard-sized supplement threatens to choke me to death.
2. People who aggressively race past me to get to a stoplight perplex me. Gas mileage at a stoplight is zero.
3. It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.
4. Greenwood’s Corollary: Be nice, but do not be a doormat.
5. The music I liked when I was in high school still has the power to move me. Photos of me dancing to said music have the power to move that photo to a shredder pronto.
6. I looked like my mom until I was in my thirties. Now in my fifties, I look like my dad after a dubious hair transplant.
7. Being a dad is just about the only thing I haven’t screwed up in my life. (Not that my life is bad — but man oh man, the failures!)
8. Failure is how we learn. Ignoring the lessons of failures causes more failure.
9. I try very hard not to “sweat the small stuff,” and a functioning democracy is NOT small stuff.
10. I despise “psychics” and “mediums” who profess the ability to speak to the dead. The dead already know how I feel about them — no charge. (In other words, tell people you…
